Art By Phillip Ortiz

Sometimes, It Does Take a Rocket Scientist

An Engineer's Life

December 2004 / January 2005 By: Jeff Taylor Volume 2 Number 6

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I'm an engineer—€”I'll admit it. But, engineering isn't just what I do for a living; it's how I live. I carry a Leatherman multi-tool because I'm surrounded by things that need to be fixed. And some of these things are actually broken. Like a child's toy that hasn't worked since Dad dropped it—€”seven times in a row.
Oh, to see the joy in little Timmy's face as I hand him his fully functional electronic megaphone/locomotive horn. "Here you go little fella. Now, run and play... Over there... Farther... A little more." Other things aren't broken, but with a little fixing, could be better. An extra button here, a little plutonium there. Before you know it, you've got a Tickle Me Elmo with enough raw processing power to calculate the total calories burned by the Thigh Master since its introduction.

Scientists and engineers have the ability to look at the world and see it, not just for what it is, but also for what it could be - with a few more features.
Many times, these enhancements are things normal people don't even know they need. Consequently, we don't always get the respect we deserve. My wife tells her friends, "When I have trouble sleeping, I ask my husband what he did at work today." Unfortunately, she's not kidding. So, while I'm describing why e isn't necessarily equal to mc2, she's settling in for a long winter's nap. She even throws in a "why's that?" or "how does that work?" just as she's drifting off, unaware she's doing it. It's more an autonomic response, like the way a professional wrestler is able to writhe in the pain resulting from a blow to the back with a metal folding chair, seemingly before actual physical contact with said chair. As I watch my wife lying there in blissful slumber I realize, "I'm wide awake!" Why?? Because I'm an engineer! My brain is warmed up, simmering at optimal temperature, synapses lined up in attack formation, target in sight. I need to fix something! Hmmm, where's that cat? I've been wanting to "upgrade" that cat for quite some time.

Most people don't realize the contribution engineers and scientists make in their everyday lives. We put a man on the moon and brought him back safely. "So, what have you done for me lately?" Today, almost everyone has a wireless mobile phone. The advances in technology that made that possible are mind-blowing. The name says it all. Wireless —€“ Mobile —€“ Phone. The telephone has been around longer than the pocket protector. (I know, it's hard to believe.) Making the phone wireless is the real achievement. I remember the first set of walkie-talkies I had when I was a kid. Oh sure, you could walk with them, as long as you didn't walk too far. However, you could talk as long as you wanted.
My sister demonstrated that. It's tough to tell your sister to let go of the button, when she won't let go of the button. I had to "walkie" over to her to tell her to let go of the button from time to time! There's a reason why it wasn't called a "walkie-talkie-listenie". The sound reproduction was horrendous.
What!? Did my sister just hand the walkie-talkie to Charlie Brown's teacher? Who happened to be right in the middle of wolfing down a deep-fried peanut butter and banana sandwich? While in a steel shipping container? At a Metalica concert? Today's wireless technology is astronomically better. Usually, when it sounds like the person on the other end is at a Metalica concert, they're at a Metalica concert.

The idea that you could take your phone to a concert is a compliment to technologists. Today's phones are truly mobile. The first-generation mobile phones were barely that. "Transportable" would have been a better descriptor.
Yes, you could carry it, but you'd think about it long and hard before you did. If you showed up at a Duran Duran concert with your new mobile phone, you'd likely be mistaken for a roadie hauling an emergency replacement 1400-watt power supply for the fog machine. (Yeah, I got into a lot of concerts for free in the 80's.) Most of you probably have a phone that can also be used as a calculator, an appointment calendar, a camera, a sound recorder, a video game server, and web portal. All that, and it still weighs significantly less than a tall, half-caff, no-foam, triple-whip, soy latte. And, the phone likely cost less* than the coffee. (* With 2-year agreement, severe penalty for early termination.)

So, buck up, little buddy and keep up the good work. These innovations don't just fall out of the sky. Sometimes it does take a rocket scientist. We work hard to develop the technology. I doubt Suzanne Somers invented the Thigh Master. I can't picture her with a slide rule and a quad pad, calculating the spring constant of the human groin. I'm sure it was some engineer, sitting in a boring Marketing meeting, playing with a paperclip. That same engineer probably went on to become the inspiration for that annoying animated paperclip that taps on your word processor screen (dink dink dink) and says, "It looks like you're trying to write an article for a major technology commercialization journal. It's not very amusing. Would you like some help?"

Now —€¦ where's that cat?